Comment Thread in Response to “100 Best Flowers of the Year”

David Hernandez

How is hollyhock
better than Delphinium, better than the ruby chandelier
of a Spider lily?

        I agree. Delphiniums rule: blue lace, say a whole
        meadow, thousands
        swaying in Wyoming, say midmorning, lit in that
        champagne light, it doesn’t
        get any better.

                Fuck larkspurs! I’d rather trowel out my eyes,
                fill both with topsoil, than look at those
                dumb, jumbo
                pipe-cleaners.

Finally Stargazer
cracks the top ten. What a corolla, how plush
and vibrant each petal, Day-Glo flamingo,
a flower so luminous she burns her outline
long after I’ve closed my lids.
Love, too, how the orange anthers
swivel when nudged
by worker bees.
Praise the lily breeder, Leslie Woodriff,
for bringing Stargazers into the world!
Praise flower shop owners from San Diego to Bangor
who display this hybrid
on their storefront window!

        You have a boner for Stargazers, don’t you?

Could someone please tell me where the hell is calla lily?

        Calla lily is doubled-over by a riverbank
        puking milk.

        Calla lily is in the corner of a schoolroom,
        perched atop an idiot’s head.

                No, she’s helping a mechanic
                funnel oil into
                a Ford Pinto.

First of all, calling
bird of paradise best flower
is a complete misnomer. Second of all, not including
lantana on this list
renders it irrelevant.

        Your use of misnomer is
        a misnomer.

If lotus isn’t #1 then it’s a stupid list. Simple.

        I agree
        if by lotus you mean
        dahlia. There are no blooms
        more magnificent, not even
        close. Imperial Wine
        and Creekside Volcano. Tahiti
        Sunrise, Wildcat, Solar Flare.
        If you need empirical evidence
        of God’s existence, look
        no further than
        the mandala of the dahlia.

                God = orchid
                Enough said

                        If you need empirical evidence
                        of hyperbole’s existence,
                        see above.

these “best of” lists should be alphabetical
so everyone would stop
bitching about which
flower is higher
than which.
reading your opinions is like
face-planting into a pincushion cactus.

        That would place
        Amaryllis
        first, zinnia
        last. How is that
        just?

                you’re missing the point
                completely.

What you people don’t know about beauty could fill the universe.

Here’s the thing with cherry blossoms: collectively
they dazzle, they firework a park.
But one
sprouting from a branch?
Ho-hum. No more glorious than a buttercup.
If buttercups, if daisies
flowered on trees, they would make
this list. If bottle caps, too.

        If silk cherry blossoms.

                If disposable razors.

                        If 9V batteries.

                                If ice cubes.

                                        If light.

In my mother’s coffin
we placed a white
chrysanthemum, always
her favorite.

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